I know it has been a while since I have blogged. Well, a while for me anyway. I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. My whole working life I have worked with other peoples children, caring for them, and teaching them. Providing them with the safely, love and security while their parents are working. I have ALWAYS had control. ALWAYS! I was always FUN but, FIRM. They knew fun Ms. Cindy as well as Serious Ms. Cindy and things went well.
Now, with my own child I am frustrated. Overwhelmed with emotions that I could just cry. I want him to act a certain way and I do not know how to do it. He hits, he kicks, he does not have any regard to anything I say. Time-outs are worthless. I have even tried a spank on the hand or thigh when things get way out of control. (Not in an abusive way so, don't call DHS on me.) How do I get him to listen? How do I get him to take me seriously, and not smile when I ask him to do something? Why didn't anyone tell me this part would be so hard? I have been told several times that it is the "stage," he is going through. However, I have known a lot of mothers who have had perfect control over their kids. I do not want to blow it off as a "stage," if I will get burned later.
Am I whining? Maybe I am. I hate to whine. I am usually the one who just sucks it up and does it and not complain. Or, not letting anyone know. I just have one child. Not 2 or 4 or 6. Just one but, at times the one feels like I am fighting a battle that I am constantly losing.
I am not sure what I am asking for. Maybe I just need to vent a little. Maybe my expectations of an almost 18 month boy are too high.
Anyway, thanks for listening me ramble. Complain. Whine. Whatever you want to call it. I am not sure I feel any better. Maybe after 9pm!!
Live every Moment
3 comments:
Ugh. It's so frustrating when your child gets this defiant attitude. I don't think it's always a "stage", but I don't think he's a terrible kid either. The thing that has helped me the most is standing my ground. And enforcing. It's too easy (for me) to cave in cuz i don't want to deal with the crying that comes after a consequence. You're a great mom, and one kid IS hard. love ya!
First - each child is different and each child has their own personality. Some of what they do is from their examples and upbringing, but you have to remember that some of what they do is just them exploring new territory and learning. This learning is difficult for us as parents to understand cause we have already learned it and we are right. We want our children to act one way and they act a totally different way. This is normal. I didn't say easy. My oldest is my hardest because he is my first at every stage! with more kids comes more experience and sometimes lower expectations of what a perfect child should be. you then discover that each child individually is perfect without your expectations.
He is just learning what is ok. He needs to develop these rights and wrongs so that as he continues to grow, as you teach him he will know the difference. It may appear that he is not listening and not paying attention, but he is. You will have a day that will be an "ah ha moment" you will see this perfect little angel that you envisioned with his own personality.
We love our children. It is HARD as heck to raise them. They are not always cute, obedient and perfect - but they are yours.
So time outs and spanking don't work. When he does something you want to change - get on his level (bend down on your knees) look at him in his eyes and tell him why. Even if you don't feel this is effective, it will come, and soon enough he will grow out of the defiant stage and into a new one. Its all in the learning to live in this world.
The only requirement he needs from you is persistence, discipline, consistency and LOVE!
you are a great mom and it is easy for everyone to tell you it is the stage, because it soon will also pass and you will graduate to something new. Welcome to motherhood. Not always easy, but worth it everyday.
Please feel free to call anytime. I am no expert, but I've learned a little along the way.
You're a fab mom! He's a boy and he's testing you. We're going through some of the same stuff around here, so I feel your pain. Just stick to your guns, mix it up a little, and praise for the positive. It'll pass.
Post a Comment